8:33 video
You're being dumped! No, not for another man, I'm leaving you for my flats! They are prettier than you, in better shape, I can change them easily if I get bored of them and best of all they always smell nice. I'd get more out of dating my flats than I ever could with a guy like you. I bet you've never been jealous of a pair of ballet flats before have you?!